I am not an expert.
I shoot from experience, failures, books, and talking with teachers.
The question is, who told me that I wasn't an expert?
Men, let's be vulnerable. Women, let's be vulnerable. Get laughed at. Expose something you aren't good at. Let the world know you are not okay. Let's share what we struggle with so we can overcome. If you are doing the laughing, ask why are you laughing at someone's lot in life.
Who told me I couldn't say that?
Who told me I couldn't do that?
Who told me that I was ugly?
Who told me that I would never amount to anything?
Words are sounds used to communicate intent. Your mind is the tool used to form words that represent the world around us. We have to agree that these words mean what we identify amongst ourselves, our local tribe. Let's stop for a moment on the agree part. I think it is well within reason that we need to agree that a red light at an intersection means we need to stop. When it turns green, we can proceed. We see all the time what happens when the attention is not placed on the traffic signals. The attention is elsewhere and bad shit can happen, the least being a traffic ticket, and the worse a deadly accident. When we agree, and wait our turn via the changing of the light, we can proceed on our merry way.
We can apply this to a lot of shit we have subconsciously planted in our minds.
Fossil: I was a ninety seven pound freshman in high school. Nuff Said. First word that came to mind was skinny, right?
I was called skinny amongst a slew of other names I'm sure my bullies used to uplift and encourage me, right? So a universal agreement was made about my appearance within my tribe of fellow Spartans. They laughed. I felt rejected, angry, and sad. After four years of this, I experienced a depression because I attached my identity to their universal agreement. In my brain, I linked the word skinny to my personal matrix of ugly, nerd, poor, broke, and rejected. At the hub of this wheel was a core of my feeling not good enough.
And it was all my fault.
All I had to do was ask myself one question.
"Fred, is it really true that I am skinny?"
This would have led to another question, "Are the accusers experts on ectomorphs, mesomorphs, and endomorphs?" I mean we are in the same grade, riding the same bus, so these bullies are suddenly the authorities on malnourished teenagers? Show me your degree sis.
"What do I think?"
This would have led to one more question. "Why is their opinion more important than mine?" I would have said because I wanted to be accepted. I would have said I didn't want to be embarrassed. I didn't want to get laughed at. I didn't want to retaliate for fear of an escalation that would lead to a fight.
My point is, by not being skeptical of the lies I was being fed, I made an agreement that red means go through the intersection. Without my consent, I bought into the bullshit that I was skinny and I created a firm belief system that no matter how much weight I could lift (550 lbs. for 3 reps in 2008), no matter how much weight I packed on (188.5 lbs. in 2007@ 8% bodyfat offseason), or how attractive I had matured physically (Romance covers anyone?) I couldn't shake the core belief planted in my fertile mind many years ago.
What fossil is fueling your decisions, and fooling you today?
You are not a fossil fool.
You are now an archeologist. Dig up the lies.
Ladies, are you really fat? Who told you that? Are you carrying some asshole's opinion that became a fossil in your thinking brain. Dig that fossil up and replace with the truth. YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL AS YOU ARE. <-------PERIOD.
Women, do you really need to have Barbie proportions to be attractive? Do you need to undergo lip injections, face lifts, and x-y-z to receive love?
Note: Women, I am not trying to say I understand the experience. I don't understand being a woman, because I am not one. What I do understand is compromise to feel accepted by the opposite sex. I do understand not accepting myself for who I am, exactly as I am. I would never attempt to choke a woman's agency. What I am saying is never act on a false belief from a liar. The liars could be television, IG models, youtube personalities, celebrities, and fashion magazines. The liars could be your friends. The liar could be your man. Dig for any fossils.
YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL AS YOU ARE. <-------PERIOD.
Men, are you really unsuccessful being a trashman, a plumber, or a cook? What asshole told you that you were not in their league? Are you carrying around a fossil that filthy rich people are successful? Pro-this and pro that? Do you need to flaunt rental cars on a music video, or wear a chain that could feed Africa if cashed in? Do we need to incite violence amongst ourselves to be a success to ourselves? We can do more when we decide to lead ourselves and become vulnerable. Be a cook, but man dream of your own restaurant. Trashman, empty that trash, but one day empty it in the truck you own. YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL AS YOU ARE. <-------PERIOD.
I am an expert.
Note: Some of these lies are deep and will need the help of an excavator to dig up. If you are struggling I highly recommend you seek the advice of a coach. Go to someone who will not only unearth the fossil, but help you get rid of it. Be careful, some people will only expose it, and leave it in there.